


Enough

by NightWolfsTales



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Existential Crisis, Mentions of past Sansa/Margaery, Sansa-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-14 14:23:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18949954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightWolfsTales/pseuds/NightWolfsTales
Summary: She had her crown. She was supposed to be happy.





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Kissing Sansa Stark goodbye.

Sansa had her crown. She had her throne. She had The North. She had the love and respect of her people. She had peace at last.

She was supposed to be happy…

But there was something missing. She felt lonely. Really, really lonely. Her siblings were not around anymore, there was no pack anymore. It felt weird to be alone in such a huge place.

_ Love.  _ No matter how many times she would tell herself she didn't need it, she knew she was only fooling herself. Everybody needed love. There was a time Sansa believed in love, in fairytales and happy endings. That was many years ago. She went from being a stupid little girl with stupid dreams to believe that nobody would ever love her.

Would  _ she  _ ever love anyone?

She knew she would have to marry. Eventually. But she also knew it much probably wouldn't be for love but for duty. She would have to marry some noble Lord and carry his babies. Winterfell would need heirs, after all.

But what about love?

Sansa thought she had found it in Margaery Tyrell, many years ago. But Margaery Tyrell loved herself and her crown more than she could ever love Sansa. And Sansa could not have married Margaery Tyrell, anyway. Not that she did not want to…

A long, tired and sad sigh fell from her soft lips as she sat down on her bed.

Sometimes, Sansa wished she could be like her sister Arya. That she could just leave everything behind and go see the unknown world. And live adventures and see different places every day… Sansa would never be  _ that  _ girl. Sansa would always do her duty.

_ Family. Duty. Honor. _

Would her mother be proud of her now? Sansa wished Catelyn had lived long enough to see what she had become. She wished her mother was there to give her all the advices Sansa ignored back in her childhood days.

And her father. Would he be proud? Oh how Sansa wished her father could see her now. How she wished she could apologize to him for all the times she had been unfair to him.

How she wished she hadn't been so selfish, self-absorbed and naïve. That she had cared more about her family instead of living in her own silly fantasy world, caring about nothing but herself.

She came a long way from that. She was a different person now. But her parents could never see the person she had become…  

Sometimes she would wish she could go back in time and change all the wrong she'd done. And listen to her parents and spend time with her siblings. How different would things had been if she did all of that back in the day? If she'd stand up for Arya and against Joffrey that day…

Maybe she wouldn't be the person she is now. Maybe she wouldn't be where she is now. Because as much as everything she had gone through hurt, it also made her strong. If it wasn't for Joffrey Baratheon, Ramsay Bolton, Lord Baelish… she would probably still have her head in the clouds.

She wished she could thank Cersei Lannister. Thank her for her advices, for making her see how stupid she was. For bringing her down to earth. She had learned a lot from her. In some twisted way, Cersei had been her motherly figure for awhile.  

Sansa wondered if she would reunite with her family when she died. Faith told her she would but Sansa wasn't sure she believed it anymore. Maybe when you die… you just die. There is nothing awaiting for you. No heaven. No hell. Just nothing.  

She was too lonely.

She had much spare time to be concerned with existentialism. Every evening, after she finished her royal duties, she would go to her room and ask herself all of these questions. Time that she could, should, be spending with the one she loved.  

Would there ever be a someone?

Would Margaery Tyrell want her now that she had a crown? No, she was still a woman, after all. She still couldn't have Margaery Tyrell, Queen or not. But if she had been born a man… then Margaery would want her only for her crown, but wouldn't love her.

_ Did she love you as a woman?  _ Her brain talked back to her.

Yes. Or at least that's what Sansa would like to believe. Maybe not as much as she loved power but she did love her. In a way. If the kisses they shared in Sansa's chambers back in King's Landing and the lovely words she told her back then were any proof of that.

But now she was gone.

All of them.

All of those people who played the game better than her were dead. That made Sansa wonder if there was something about her. Something special… a reason why she had survived and won the game.

Maybe she just liked to think she had a purpose in life. Rule the North. That was her purpose. Or maybe it was just her duty. Maybe her real purpose in life was to be… happy. Would she ever be happy?

The pressure in her chest and the lump in her throat wouldn't let her sleep at night. She longed for something she didn't really know what and it made her chest hurt and frustrated tears stream down her face.

Love. She longed for love.

She longed for someone to hold her at night. To tell her they loved her. Deep inside, there was still some of that little girl inside of her. No, she didn't expect no fairytale, no charming prince. But she did expect love. Deep inside, she still believed in love.

Her people loved her. So Sansa decided to dedicate her life to them. To make their lives better, to show them she cared, to make The North great.

Maybe that was her duty  _ and  _ her purpose. Maybe the love of her life wasn't a person but a Kingdom. Sansa loved The North and her people more than life itself. She would fight for it, she would die for it.

Maybe  _ that  _ was true love. Maybe that was enough.


End file.
